what the hell are you looking at?
assalamualaikum.
this is my 2nd post today. what can i say, i am bored and i am forced to write by my brain. i can't control my brain at this kind of time. so, what can i say.
erm, here's my topic tonight, have you ever love a person/thing/situation but in the same time you're hating it? or maybe terrified by it. let's skip Allah, parents and stuff related because, that's the obvious answer and i want to write about something that is not.
for me, it's height. i absolutely disdain heights in any angle or what so ever but in the same time, i've found it fascinating and i always had this feeling that's been asking me: 'what does it feels like to fall down from such height. can you actually feel the gravity force that much?' but fyi, i am not suicidal, just in case. i might yell when i am too close to fall down but in the same time, i might as well let go, because, once the thing fascinates me, i aint going to stop halfway, i really want to feel it.
the way i imagined is like:
umpama tanah rindukan aku dan graviti bumi menarik aku ke tanah yang dambakan dakapan aku. angin menerobos ke dalam tubuh aku, meramas setiap inci tubuh aku yang. angin yang cemburu akan tanah mengambil aku dahulu sebelum tanah merasa aku. jadi aku dapat merasa kedua-dua perasaan ghairah dari tanah dan angin. pabila aku jatuh terbujur di atas tanah, tanah bakal merasa aku dan perlahan-lahan, ianya akan reputkan aku.
that's the kind of passion i feel between me and heights, the kind of thing that you know you're suppose to get away from but it keep pulling you in. the kind of thing that's seem wrong to other's sight but righteous in yours. that's the kind of tension between me and height. the more wrong it is, the more turned on we become. come on dude, it's passion, i rendered this kind of feelings with an actual person, such lust that sparkles and ignites but never seem to shut off. it keeps turning on and getting hotter by the seconds.
i may sound like a pervert when i put it that way but, i cant help it, it's just the way that i've been picturing it.
cara angin perlahan-lahan menyelam masuk ke dalam tubuh, menusuk mata, angin telanjangkan aku, menyiat perlahan kulit aku, membelah jantung aku. tanah mendakap aku, justeru merampas aku dari angin dan mengucup setiap tubuh aku. darah menyisip keluar, menangis pada tanah yang membawa aku pergi, angin mencuri bau darah, disebarkan ke pelosok dunia, sekaligus menceritakan kisah percintaan aku dengan ketinggian. pengorbanan aku untuk memberitahu cinta aku, kasih aku yang selama ini tertanam, terlarang pada ketinggian.
told you so, i've written in like a horny guy. gosh. but seriously, i can't help it. i am truly fascinated by heights. i used to throw stuff or spit just to hear where it ends. i may look terrified which i do but, --- yeahh..
you must have had the same feeling that i've been rambling about. the kind of passion which grows simultaneously with fear. fuh, how i love it.
until here then. if you want to see more pictures, just scroll down, insya Allah. see you later babe. how can you not fall in love with heights? that's why i want to parasail or go bungee jumping or just parachute and stuff. it's my dream.
insya Allah, before i am dead, i want to show to height how much lust i have inside me for him. insya Allah. insya Allah. i really hope so.
coretan.tentang.keghairahan.
jazmin
pengakuan: so, i write like a horny person, does that made me one? yeahh it does bebeh! LOL.
ps: i am not suicidal. just in case. again. i maybe depressed at times and had imagined what it's like to kill oneself but, in the end, i know about the greatest sins of all. i am capable of not making the obvious mistake i guess.
pps: i have been crying in my sleep for the past few days. i cant remember the dreams but i remember the pain that's been stinging my heart. i can taste the salt of my own pain. mata aku jadi lebih panda. heh.
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