Thursday, December 30, 2010

31st December 2010, the past.

assalamualaikum.

i suppose people are going to make different things tomorrow. i suppose some people are burning the past by tomorrow. but for me, i don't have the courage to. the past means a lot to me. a lot more than anything i have ever or will ever encounter. i love my past. and hard to admit this, but, i am still in love with the perfect person who's been a really humungous part of it. yes, it's easier said than done. it's easier to say it out loud or even type it on a screen. it really is easier to look at rather than feel. but in the end, i led myself astray and live as a two-faced to myself. truth to be told, i miss you. and the past. but, you are as impossible to reach nowdays just like the past. because, i can do nothing to rewind what we had and pause it where we were just us and let it stays like that forever. you are as impossible as the past. and, oh god, as much as i hate it, it hurts. you may not feel it, but it's okay. it'll be much more miserable for me if you do because, for me, your pain is unbearable. why did you placed yourself in such a difficult position for me to reach, much less to hold on to? out of all places and time in this world, why did you put yourself as part of my past?

why?

'i am over you' is the sentence i repeated almost everyday. when will i ever believe it?

i thought i am a great liar but when it comes to you, i am everything but great. i am everything.

ergh! FFFFFFishcake ):

once again, i am over you. please. please. i am pleading. please. happen for me next year.

coretan.tanpa.makna.
jazmin.

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