things my parents taught me.

assalamualaikum.

you see, as you already know, growing up i hated my parents. but now, when i am a little bit mature, my childhood came to life.

my childhood was amazing. though my mother would be gone half of the month but the other half, well, i was the luckiest kid alive.

the clearest memory i have of my childhood is this one:

i told my parents that my sister and i wanted to play in the rain. because even when i was a child, rain seems so beautiful and lightning, well, they are the silver lining. unlike any other parents, my parents didn't say no. they never did told us to not play in the rain. not once. she said 'not today.' but again, i was a child and that equals to a big fat no.

the next day, my mother came home bearing gifts. she brought us a raincoat. a beautiful pink raincoat with the picture of snoopy. and my father, he brought us a new umbrella. a yellow one for me and a green one for my sister. that evening, my sister and i played in the rain. we tumbled on the green grass. my father took out a beaker and said that we can measure the amount of rain. so we did.

when the rain stopped, my parents made an artificial rain. they sprayed water from the hose to the sky and it came down like pretty little diamonds.

it is one of the best memories i have.

growing up, i learnt a lot. but the lesson that i am most impressed an in awe of is this one.

make mistakes.

they let me make mistakes. because as an arrogant bitch, i have to learn the hard way. always the hard way.

i stole things from them when they found out, the beat the shit out of me.

i lied to them. when they found out, they let me be. knowing that i would learn the lesson all by myself without them almost killing me.

when i ran away from home, they let me run because they knew i will always come back. i came back a little bit after maghrib because it was dark and i was hungry. they didn't let me in. i stayed outside until 9.

when i did the horrible thing, they turned their heads and told me that Allah is always there. get the syaitans out of you. you know better. and they told me they love me.

when i talked back, they slapped me.

when i yell and didn't wanna go to school they caned me.

when i get yelled by teacher they came to school and ask them to cane me next time instead of just yelling.

when i didn't do my homework, and i told them i was done, they let me be. they say that when i am all grown up and i am stupid, it will always be my fault.

i was called with names when i was growing up. having a bad teeth and skinny body will make you the ultimate target. but my parents, they told me to toughen up. but all i did was cry. but never in front of the bullies or my parents. i became tough on the outside.

thanks to them, i have a thick skin. you can call me names. tell me to fuck myself. tell me that i am fucking ugly because my teeth looks like a monster's teeth. you can step on me. you can chase me down to then end of the earth. you can slap and beat the crap out of me. you can tell me that i am not accepted.

i learnt on how not to care on petty stupid things.

i learnt how to live.

how to survive.

how to be happy.

i learnt how to be a girl that they had gave birth to. a girl they had raised and love. a girl that screws up everything and still manages to stand up at the end of the day.

i learnt how to be Nurul Jazmin Binti Fauzan.

without them, there won't be an awesome JazminFauzan that you know of today.

Nurul Jazmin Binti Fauzan.

confession: whatever happens to me, i know they are already proud. Emak, Abah, i love you.