the millionth time's a charm

here is a gift to you. yes. you. you know who you are. i promise you that i will let you go. i promise you that. and you know that i am a man of my words. i know i've told myself that promise like a thousand times before. i know i have been saying that like for the past a year and a half.

but this time, this time is the millionth time. and you know what they say, the millionth time is a charm compared to three. so, here's to letting you go. at last. hahaha.

but i have a question. urm. after this letting go stuff, can i still kinda love you a little bit. i mean, come onnnnn....... you can never really stop loving your first love can you? haha. well, that is the awful truth right. you used to be 'it'. and after being chosen as an 'it', you can never undo it and that stays forever.

funny how life works. okay. so. goodbye. all i am hoping is that you will always be in good health. fine. blessed by Allah. and of course, happy.

i hope there is someone better out there. the one that suits your perspective. the one that will respect you. look up to you. that one person that you don't have the need to change anymore because that person is just what you wanted. the one who will make your life easier.

and we both know that i am not that person. because my existence does not make any life easier. i am journey. i will never settle down. i crave freedom and staying still and do what others want never comes easy for me.

i don't want to change. not for you. not for anybody as a matter of fact. i will only change on my own will. my own terms. i know what is right and what is wrong. i am trying.

so, for the millionth time, goodbye. hear from me you will not. i hope not. hahaha. assalamualikum.

jazmin.

confession: 'always have and always will,'. i am keeping that promise too.