i thought i was gonna vomit.

assalamualaikum.

flashback:

it was about the first week of this month i think.

you called me.

seeing your number and name and the blinking light and the ringing tone on my phone. you were calling me.

first i thought it was my imagination.

but the ring tone was still there.

'for real?' i thought.

i pressed answer then i stopped breathing.

that easy voice, they were running through my veins and catching my stomach on fire. gripping my heart to death. and chocking my throat.

'i cant do this.' i thought to myself.

i answered your normal questions, was trying my best to sound normal. as if i was actually breathing.

'i cant do this.' my breath was weird. my throat was going to throw up. my eyes were stinging.

my knees, they were weak.

just by your voice.

i don't even remember our conversation. all i remembered was that, i don't want to hear your voice, i can't, and i had to hang up.

i was busy at that time, and using that, i hung up.

but my knees. ohh, my strong, powerful knees that helped get through a lot, scraped a lot, was weakened by your voice.

i have to get away.

J

confession: i thought i convinced myself enough.